come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I need moral support for this bender
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
