I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I intend to get homeless drunk
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
