jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
