I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Less talking, more tequila
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
