sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
