So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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