my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
