Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
should my penis look like a turkey
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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