A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
