Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
