I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize