Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
