im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
