I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
sarcasm needs its own font
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
