Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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