I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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