Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
