I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
