Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
