I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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