swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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