Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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