i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
