is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
