Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Damn victory sex feels great
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
