I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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