she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
