Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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