hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
