I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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