Already got asked if we're dating
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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