hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
