Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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