Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
