I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
