it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
