About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
