i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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