i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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