What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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