dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
