I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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