Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
