just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i drank out of a bidet.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
