So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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