someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
