I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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