So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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