I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
