As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
