Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
